What 2 Years Of Weight Training Taught Me

I should be able to say I have moved past the idea I was 250lbs. That guy should be gone.  I made a tough time of it because I didn’t think I had a problem. I fought harder and harder, yet nonetheless I’m still here but now I’m 200lbs. The same struggles appeared.  I have been near 200 lbs. for well over a year. A couple times I tried to drive the number down. I started to aim towards 185-190 lb. range, but each time I saw around 195… Everything would fall apart.  My hunger would skyrocket. I wouldn’t have that drive to train. Exhausted and disinterested in the thing I spend two years trying to love, I found the old habits of binge eating and eating because of boredom. Currently, it is not worth getting to a lower number.  Losing more weight is not what my body wants. Maintaining weight is lackluster. It’s now becoming a time to see the toughest idea in fitness. I want to GAIN weight.

Holy blasphemous nightmare, Batman! So, after two years of grinding; I’m throwing it all away for pizza parties and more couch time. Not at all. This will note the first time I will actively put on weight with intention. I could just as easily give-up and slaughter a nightly sleeve of Oreos. I could just eat what I want and not feel restricted. I do NOT feel my diet as restrictive at all. I eat a bit differently, and still have cookies and “garbage” food, but I’ll try my best to align my food to my goal. The food I consumed over the last two years found equilibrium to my overall activity. My calorie-in to calorie-out was aligned. I was comfortable. It was easy to stay.

I do not wish to stay in my comfort zone. But the worst thing I could do is sit back and let the effort go to waste. Adding weight is not my attempt to get fat; it’s to get stronger.  I cut from 6 days to 4 with more focus on mobility and yoga on the other days. I’m going to try and get more sleep. My recovery had suffered because I didn’t eat enough food. I was tired and run down. My body wanted resources; and after a week of “bulking”, I still way the same. I already feel better, and all my lifts improved immediately.

I’m really no different than anyone else.  I’m pretty average overall.  My lifts aren’t impressive. I’m not shredded (even losing 50lbs). I’m a slow runner. I look normal, but I’m not the average 38-year-old.

Humble brag- Some people think I’m in my mid-twenties. I would like to think that is a health thing, but probably, my baby face and inability to grow a beard is more like it. What the hell? Still, feels good to hear.

At 38, I’m not the strongest I have ever been. I am close to the most mobile I can be.  I can’t do the splits or hold a handstand, but I can feel very connected to myself. It’s a rewarding feeling to expect my body to do something, and then it actually CAN! As I continue to age (because you have to), I’m not ready to slow down as I approach the top of the hill and march over the other edge.

We all met someone that fought hard to change quickly, started to change, and gave up because it was too uncomfortable or hard. Life is hard, but it’s only as hard as you make it.  If you work to find comfort leaving your comfort zone, the sky is the limit. It becomes harder to get rattled out of a goal. But what if I told you to abandon the destination of a goal for the journey itself? What if the end weight was meaningless? What if you could fall in love with a process and made it a default setting?

There is this precursor idea that a few weeks of moderate effort will reset years to decades of piss poor lifestyle choices.  How often are there 4–16-week boot camps that make crazy promises? Get ripped in 5 minutes a day.  Do this celebrity diet. Train like this celebrity with 5 hours sessions of HIIT cardio. But months, years, or decades cannot be replaced with a juice cleanse, starving yourself, and getting so sore you quit immediately.

(You should only be sore enough to notice, but not let it impact your normal movement.  If this happens, you went too hard.)

So, people convince themselves that they cannot get past a level and get stuck there.  Some slip into a lackluster depression. They tell themselves they never can get to the goal and then race away from it like a wasp’s nest. The key is to build consistency, then and only then try a little bit harder every day.

My favorite story of a person’s gym effort was he would drive to the gym at the same time every day. He would stay for 5 minutes and leave.  That’s it. He did it for six months. Did he get jacked or lose a ton of weight in 5 minutes?  Of course not. Others were so confused, but after six months, he would start to stay longer. The people started to ask, “Why show up for 5 minutes and leave?” His response, “I needed to prove I could show up every day. In life, I need to develop the right behavior and better habits. Now I show up because I expect myself to be here now.”

There wasn’t the goal to look different, but to become different. To become the person, you alone, expect yourself to be. Whether seen or unseen. Even if years of effort change little, you just keep going. You start to like the process. It becomes foreign not to try.

Remember this is your life. It’s the longest short thing of your existence.  Spend your time becoming the person you wish to be. Even if it has nothing to do with fitness, the rule is still true. Fall in love with the process. Take an active investment in something you enjoy. Then do your best until your best gets better.

Anything that challenges you will improve you over time.