Suffer More in Imagination Than in Reality
Hey Everyone,
In our minds, imagination holds a powerful sway over our emotions and perceptions. Often, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of anxious thoughts and worries, creating mountains out of molehills, and suffering more in our imagination than in reality.
But what if I told you that many of the fears and anxieties we conjure up in our minds are merely illusions, distorted reflections of our deepest insecurities? What if I reminded you that, often, reality is far less daunting than the scenarios we envision? How often do we envision full conversations with someone, repeatedly, just to make it through the first sentence and zero percent of that conversation goes to expectations. How often do we worry about things out of our control, just to give a sigh of relief that it’s way simpler and meaningless then we gave it credit?
The truth is, we have control over only a handful of factors in our lives: our attitudes, our reactions, and how we choose to perceive the world around us. Yet, our imaginations tend to run wild, painting vivid pictures of worst-case scenarios and fueling our fears with irrational thoughts.
So how do we break free from the grip of our anxious minds and find solace in the reality of our experiences?
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment or attachment to our thoughts. By grounding ourselves in the present, we can quiet the chatter of our minds and find peace amidst the chaos. Mindfulness helps us recognize when our thoughts are veering into anxious territory and allows us to gently guide our attention back to the present moment. It reminds us that most of our worries are merely figments of our imagination, not reflections of reality. In these moments, we are in control. We cannot change the past, but we can learn from it. We don’t know the future, so why waste the now concerned about something we are not in control of.
Case in Point:
This isn’t a great way to handle situations, but the point is helpful. When I was in my late teens, I would spend late nights at a pool hall with a few friends. Still having a curfew, I was supposed to be home by 11pm/12am, but I would break it often and just stay out. I would call home and let them know I was going to be late, and I would get a stern talking to about returning home promptly. So, all the way home, I would worry about what would happen once I got home. My dad then went on to teach me that if you are going to be yelled at, don’t call first. Just go home. Why get yelled at twice? It’s not the best advice to give to a teen, but it is something I think about. In the end, my parents we asleep by 10pm. All I was doing was broadcasting my crimes to a person in the lulls of sleep and I would get yelled at twice. Once for waking them up and the second because they would stay up until I got home to address it again.
How to Practice:
Don’t call… I kid, but why get yelled at twice?
Focus on Your Breath: When you feel anxious, take a few moments to simply observe your breath. Draw out inhales and exhales as much as you can. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, the sensation of air entering and leaving you. This simple practice can help anchor you in the present moment.
Engage Your Senses: While breathing fully, tune into your surroundings by paying attention to the sights, sounds, smells, and textures around you. Engaging your senses helps bring you back to the here and now, away from the endless loop of anxious thoughts. Remind yourself where you are and what is in control right now. Not later, but in the moment.
Practice Acceptance: Rather than trying to suppress or control your thoughts, practice accepting them for what they are – just thoughts. Allow them to come and go without attaching judgment or significance to them. For now, the thought is just a thought and not reality yet. Emotions might be sending the wrong signals.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts have a way of spiraling out of control, feeding off each other until they become overwhelming. By challenging these thoughts and reframing them in a more realistic light, we can regain control over our mental landscape. When we challenge negative thoughts, we disrupt the cycle of anxiety and replace irrational fears with more rational interpretations of reality. This shift in perspective can alleviate much of the suffering we experience in our imagination.
Case in Point:
I was a big worrier for a while. It wasn’t that growing up was troublesome or traumatic, but my headspace would often turn to a negative over a positive. I could hear hundreds of pleasant things but obsessed over one negative thing. Upon reflection, this was a huge waste of time. For many years, I was opposed to any photos of myself. The person in the photos was never the person in the mirror. It was an embarrassing ordeal as I hated the way I was seen in photos. I would say, “it steals part of your soul.” However, I wanted to start to grow in a fitness social media space. How could that be obtained without shooting videos and taking photos doing the work? It doesn’t. What about the numerous trolls out there that wake up and actively sow dread? The ones that nitpick any detail to gain some superiority. I just started to think, these people are too scared to start anything and won’t amount to much more than be outspoken nobodies. What I did learn was… The YouTube channel Grundas Yogalift as 81 subscribers, 547 videos, 39,000 views, and 209 hours of watch time. If 81 people walked up to me and said, “I follow your content and it helped me,” I would be ecstatic. The newsletter for We, The Collective Fitness has over 400 members with 81% people opening the email. Over 300 people at least looked at the work I did. There will always be others that want to keep you down. It’s because that space they stay in is lonely and they want everyone else to stay right there with them.
How to Do It:
Question Your Current Assumptions: When faced with a negative thought, ask yourself: Is this thought based on fact or assumption? Am I jumping to conclusions? Is there evidence to support this belief? Is it just another person’s opinion?
Seek Evidence: Look for evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts. Often, you’ll find that reality is far less dire than your imagination would have you believe.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, especially when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Remember that it’s okay to have negative thoughts – what matters is how you respond to them.
Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to anxiety, shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have. By cultivating gratitude for the blessings in our lives, we can find peace and contentment in the present moment. Gratitude reminds us of the abundance that surrounds us, even during difficulty. It helps us see the silver linings in life’s challenges and fosters a sense of resilience in the face of adversity.
As we navigate the twists and turns of life, remember this: suffering more in imagination than in reality is a common affliction, but it is not an insurmountable one. By practicing mindfulness, challenging negative thoughts, then cultivating gratitude, you can tame the anxious mind and find peace in the reality of your experiences.
May you find solace in the present moment, free from anxious thoughts and fears.
Warm regards,
Charlie
