How Can I Help You?
Our daily lives can easily get caught up in our own narratives. We often consider ourselves to be thoughtful, caring, and helpful. We might occasionally hold the door for someone, pay for a stranger's coffee, or engage in other acts of kindness. When it’s convenient to help, we should. However, let's shift our perspective this week to a more proactive and impactful one. The intention this week centers on what am I doing to help others. It’s not simply waiting for a moment to be helpful, but to actively seek out opportunities to help or support.
As the legendary Mr. Rogers once said, "“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’" His mother had a good point for a few reasons. This sentiment goes beyond just noticing those who step forward in times of crisis; it's about embodying that spirit in our everyday interactions. It's about being the helper and actively seeking moments to go beyond for someone else. Finally, it’s the idea to watch out for these things on a regular basis because if no one is willing to step forward, maybe it can be you.
There is a convenience factor to help. If we are busy, we can often pass on being helpful. Just a few weeks ago an old man walked up to my car window. I was in a hurry to get home, so I tried to ignore him. I didn’t have time to hear his question. He might have really needed help. Or maybe it was part of some scam. I’ll never know. Nonetheless, I think about it time to time. The person I was in that moment is not the person I want to be. So, I’m hoping to be more mindful about it.
There is also a self-serving factor to help. Helping others can make us feel better about ourselves. Think of how many companies spend billions of dollars marketing they gave a million to charity. This façade is only to boost up yourself to feel superior. Years ago, I would drive to Lombard for work. As I taught first thing several times a week, I would leave from the studio and get on the 290 and would see a homeless person or two. Standing patiently and waving to each car for help. Knowing they would be there, I would grab an extra sandwich from McDonald’s and I started to keep a Costco box of granola bars in the car. After a while, I felt vindicated in telling people I was doing this. Even right now is one of those moments. But now I realize that is not the reason to go help.
Moving beyond sporadic acts of kindness, we embark on a journey to make kindness a consistent part of our character. It's a transformative shift that goes beyond doing things conditionally or in response to specific situations. It's about embodying a state of being—being kind, being helpful, being compassionate. Transcending the occasional act of kindness becomes a consistent part of our character. When we learn to be kind or helpful or [insert adjective here], we learn to do things unconditionally. For when we think about the actions of being- kind and watch for others being kind, we will see more of it in the world. Once we see it more, we start to believe in it a little bit more. We start to think that we all can do very little to help us all go a little bit further. It just becomes a central part of who we are.
Actively looking for and embodying kindness advances a belief in making a positive impact. As we may consistently watch and engage in acts of kindness, the cycle of belief and action becomes self-reinforcing. Thus building momentum. A small, cumulative act contributes to a significant positive force, reinforcing the idea that even seemingly modest contributions can lead to meaningful change. Much like the ripple effect of water or a butterfly effect.
In essence, actively seeking opportunities to help is not just about being a helper when needed—it's a commitment to making kindness an intrinsic part of who we are. It transcends occasional acts, becoming a consistent thread in the fabric of our character. As we navigate this intentional shift, we contribute to a world where kindness, compassion, and empathy are not just ideals but lived experiences, enriching the collective tapestry of our humanity.
