The No Complaining Rule:
Stop complaining. The things you spend your time on become the things you think about and the things you think about become how you spend your time. This is a short narrative about a woman, in Marketing/Public Relations, and the CEO completely tanks the company. She is still recoiling from a divorce and her kids are always upset with her. On top of this, she had a doctor’s visit coming up for a cancer screening. Nothing currently is right. Everything is stressful and managing life was a series of disappointments.
She is shown by her nurse a poster that says do not complain, and the nurse goes on to get the woman some advice about this rule she holds herself to. Since the story is so short, let’s get to the good parts.
Here are the quick ideas to help when you start to complain.
Use But. State the complaint, and at the end say, “but” then something potentially good. Since we cannot process more than a thought at a time, we can tell ourselves about the good of a challenge. The last thing we think about normally holds on longer.
Focus on Get to. I use this all the time when I don’t want to workout or start a project. I get to do these things. I welcome the chance to learn and improve something, especially if I’m bad at it because there is a lot of easy improvement to be made when it new or tough. I’m bad a lot of things I start, but I won’t be the worst forever. Eventually, I’ll be better than I am now and that is what counts.
Think about solutions instead. There is a phrase I like to use, there is a difference between complaining and bitching. When I complain (maybe not the best word here), I try to find a way to improve the situation. If I’m bitching, I’ll make no attempt to alter the situation and put the blame on other things.
Now that’s nice and all, but what is practical to work on right now?
Find gratitude. Be thankful for something as challenging things arise.
Praise others. Instead of putting negative into the world, give appreciation to someone else for their work. They might be struggling too and it’s the push they need to keep going.
Focus on success. What is your goal? What is essential? What do you want from life and what are the small daily steps you take towards it.
Let go. You will fail. You will make mistakes. These are the moments to pretend to have the memory of a goldfish. Take the result and try again. It’s a brand-new attempt. Hell, ketchup took 57 tries. The light bulb took thousands of tests. Move on to the next step or do it again until it’s better.
Pray and meditate. There is a good bit of advice in the book here. Breathe in like you smell a rose. Take air to the bottom of your lungs and fill up on it. Focus on that for even a few rounds of breath. You’ll start to feel better soon. You survived everything else. Don’t let a moment stop you.
At the end of the day, there are practical applications of how to manage and recover from stress. The whole history of time has waited for this moment. Stop waiting for perfection; find improvement.