Why you should listen to “Talking To Strangers”

I started this book because I am a fun of most things Malcolm Gladwell writes about. I even subscribe to a newsletter from him and have continued to write more often trying to envelop his style and technique. Therefore, his books are some of the reasons I want to write better.

This starts with the chilling story of Sandra Bland. A radio host, from Illinois, moving to Texas to start a new life. She gets pulled over and arrested at a traffic stop, and while in her cell, she commits suicide. It’s a heartbreaking case of people not understanding each other properly. The officer was later indicted for lying under oath during the 2015 case and subsequently fired from Texas Department of Public Safety and was to permanently end all law enforcement roles of any kind.

Sandra was moving out of the way to allow the officer to pass her, and he pulled her over. Sandra partakes in a cigarette to calm her nerves, and when the officer requested to put it out, she refused. The scene continues to spiral, and the officer exclaims, “I will light you up!” The dashcam footage is available. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaW09Ymr2BA

Malcolm’s starter point is you will overestimate what others think and feel because we all emote a bit differently. We cannot read minds or faces as well as we like. He makes a comparison to the show “Friend’s” and how you can watch the show with no sound, and you can still follow the story by facial expressions. Turns out, we do not emote the same. There is also a section about Amanda Knox “acting weird” and becoming a suspect and eventually brought to trial. (She was found innocent.)

The second great point is we default to honesty first. We don’t like to think people lie to us and we will often overlook blatant lies and believe it wholeheartedly. When we are complemented or spoke to well, we grow blinders. We repeatedly give the benefit of the doubt. When Ana Montes, a ranking analyst at the CIA, was the “Queen of Cuba,” but no one expected it to be her. The CIA thought there was some genius mole in the building, while Ana hid for Cuban radio, in a shoebox, in her closet. Sometimes we can’t see what is in front of us.

The story is great and if you do the audiobook, it’s performed like a podcast. All the excerpts are pulled from the original audio files. It’s quite a show. In the end, I was able to take these ideas and use them as I interact with the world. Maybe it helps you too.