Finding Consistency
As much as we desire certain outcomes, we cannot expect to win everything. We might not even know what we want from this life. Even when we find important life wins, it may not be as fast as we wanted. It may take months or years. You may win, but maybe not in the way you expected. Maybe you aren’t that good at it. Based on our perspectives and drivers, we are going to miss a few milestones. We might even lose it all and must start over. That thought alone can be riddled with pain and shame. If the goal is important to you, you’ll have to accept all the trials along the way. You may be on the best run in your life and one pebble on the road can trip you up. So, if you feel a bit lost, or doubtful, or lacking motivation, be consistent with the simple things you like. Fall in love with the process. In this we can direct our self-imposed actions to slowly pull us out of a rut and move forward on our own journey.
Consistency, within a process, will create the habits you want. It’s going to suck. It must suck sometimes. Even if you were to live an average life, then 1/3 of your life is good, 1/3 is bad and 1/3 is meh. We must still get up and get on with our lives. So when we have a bad day, we can look forward to a good day later on. It will show up, eventually. Therefore the best thing we can do is take another step towards the important things we want of ourselves. If you want certain skills and social characteristics, you have to practice them even after your good. How else do you maintain the skill you created.
While studying at Triton, I was told this phrase and, still to this day, I let it echo in my head. “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” It’s expected that it was Logic 101 or Ethics, or Philosophy. Nope. Statistics. It helped me remember that there are constants in our lives. Action and thoughts we continuously come back to. There is a reason you think about things you do. That your actions will dictate your behavior and not the flow of thoughts. Then recognize the things we want might not meet our own expectations, so we quit.
You shouldn’t get everything you want every single time you want it. How often do you stay proud of things that were too easy to achieve? Think about other tough things you have endured. Think of when you worked harder and smarter to understand the process of something. Honestly, take one minute now and watch yourself overcome something.
(One minute later)
You can’t change those parts. They are forever finished and trapped in time. But we use those moments to direct who we want to be going forward. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t go through it. We learn well from experience and seeing ourselves overcome difficulties leads to improvement. But what if we don’t have a goal or direction. What if we get lost and confused about what life is supposed to mean? It’s not easy. How do we find direction?
If it makes me sad or lost to feel insecure or not wanting to be me, only I can change that. I must choose to feel that. I don’t have to ignore it. I can use it to become something a little better elsewhere. Learning is a human function.
What if that insecure feeling is there to help me empathize with someone and help them through. Expect nothing, give unconditionally. Maybe the doubts and fears presented to us are the empathy tests to give support to another. How often would we like to express our genuine concerns about who we wish to become. Then how often do we practice these things?
