Thank Your Failures
With every experience, thank it, especially when it sucks. We learn much more from the downturns in life than the general victory. It’s not rewarding to just be handed a victory. I would rather lose and do my best than do nothing and be given the win. When we fail, it’s tough. It can hurt a bit. It could even stop you dead in your tracks. Failing sucks. But without any suffering or trial, winning can be worse. Constant wins mean you can be stagnated and bored. It’s not fun anymore. There is no challenge.
Michael Jordan’s first retirement noted.
"I'm very solid with my decision of to not play the game of basketball in the NBA. The reason being, I've heard a lot of different speculations about my reasons for not playing, but I've always stressed to people that have known me and the media that has followed me that when I lose the sense of motivation and the sense to prove something as a basketball player it's time for me to move away from the game of basketball.”
When there is no challenge, life gets boring and listless. The things you enjoyed become a chore when it used to be your favorite thing. This is when we go in search of new challenges. Like went a video game has no enemies nearby, you are not going the right way (for the story). If the game is too easy, we might return to play at a more difficult level or we might just stop playing that specific game all together. Without any hardship, how will we ever learn new things or evolve ourselves. Therefore, become accustomed to normally receiving some form of unwelcomed news.
When it happens, the first thing is to start to understand that the past cannot change. It most often will be best to tell yourself, “Well, I can’t change that something already happened. But I control how I wish to move forward with this latest information.” Just this alone, a few minutes to reflect on it is the starting process to learn. Without struggle there is no change.
Then learn how to forgive yourself for the mistake. You are stuck with you forever (as far as we know). There is no reason to be upset and hard on yourself for failing. You will fail sometimes. Too bad. It WILL happen. You don’t need to hold onto a loss forever. I liken it to a discussion on Ted Lasso. Have the memory of a goldfish. It’s okay to forget about past failing if it drives to fail differently in the future. Please don’t just fail the same way but make small adjustments and practice some patience. You may be surprised what you learn once you are less critical of yourself. Just like in sports, one bad play can give away the game, but it doesn’t have to be the reason you stop trying. There will be another play or another game or another season.
Lastly, help teach others the wonderful failures you suffered, and help the next group get further than you. Showcase what you learned. So, when others fail around you, you can transform the failures into good news for someone else you care for. Don’t hold on to the information. Share it. Often, we pride ourselves on not just what we did, but what we had to go through to get there. We find memorable moments in others for what we had to struggle through and still put positivity into the world.
You are going to fail. You are going to suck at something. Yet still be hopeful that you can be honest and patient with yourself and receptive to continue some improvement of self. The Wright brothers failed with 7 different flying machines. The best one flew for 12 seconds, rose to 10 feet, and made it distance of 120 feet. Without this flight, we may have never made it to the moon 66 years later. What might have happened if they gave up earlier? What if they lost their moxie to struggle forward and learn?
