Reborn Daily, Make Everyday a Birthday

Over the 37 years I’ve stumbled on this planet, there is something pivotal about what I know. I know the only constant is change. Everything is constantly changing because that is the only way to evolve. Whether it’s fate or freewill. You are here now. You didn’t choose to be you, and you still chose everything about yourself. Change can be scary to people. We often don’t know the future because we might choose to cower in fear of it. But what if?

But what if, is the most dangerous sentence in your head. It forces us to repeatedly change our minds. Nonetheless, we remain in the same spot. It sometimes feels like the purest frustration to bounce back and forth allowing the anxiety and guilt to use up all my energy, when I could have used to do something to better myself. Longwinded, sure, but this frustration kept me from the things I want to work on.

So, my mom kind of hates this story, but here goes…

My mother wanted a small pond in the backyard for the goldfish. My father, partially kind to building, grabs a shovel and digs a hole. “The one you should just bury me in,” he would retort when digging holes. Soon, the pond was rolling with little cute waterfall displays and plenty of little fish. There were pictures taken of the whole thing. A few years later, she wanted a larger pond. Therefore, my father, partially kind to building, grabs a shovel and digs a bigger hole. “The one you should just bury me in,” he restated. Afterwards, the world was great. But then suddenly, over a few more years, my mother wanted to shrink the pond.

The rough reality was the first pond, and the last pond were just the same pond.

So why bother changing at all? After so many years, we end up in the same spot. However, this quote comes to mind. “No man steps in the same river twice.” We continue to evolve, and the river is constantly moving. It’s not the same water and you aren’t the same you. It's part of the journey.

As I review my life, I’m very different than how I use to be. It’s about 5-7 year windows of you being you. Then you are upgraded to the new you. Think like your phone upgrade but longer, and  we don’t want either to get much bigger. But the time I spent in yoga practice really did help me find a deeper understanding of myself. The “bro” characteristics, or the “toxic masculinity”, or just the college me never would have guessed what five years later would look like. That person would only correctly answer, “Accountant of some kind, and have a house.” However, if I said I actively taught and participated in yoga. I enjoy it. The younger me would have just laughed and laughed. He would call me a fag, then ask an inappropriate question about downdog.

In light of all of this, we must change. Sometimes its for the better and sometimes for the worse, but we can’t change those parts of the past. We then also cower to what the future can hold and don’t decide anyway. The lack of decision is still decision. The worst part is then you allow someone to have control and remove your heart and soul from the equation. Sometimes it’s the fact we can blame others when negative outcomes happen. It’s not our fault, so and so made me do it. It’s okay. It’s not what happens, it’s how we react. This is how we can start to change.

It has to start with accountability first. It is okay to say “I don’t know. But I can look into that.” Also, “No.” is a full sentence. But still be careful. Don’t take the blame for everything else, but understand you had an opportunity to impact the outcome and chose your decision. Take ownership of it. Actively learn from the mistakes and build small gameplans on the next tire-fire disaster around the corner. Skydiving once can be a rush, but the 1000 jump is a breeze. Basically the surprise is gone.

So how do I evolve to the next me?

·         Do things unconditionally. Do your best to help others and do not expect the same in return. It does feel good to help others, but know it is okay if the help is not reciprocated. Keep doing it. Keep helping even if nothing happens in your favor.

·         This one is weird and tough but keep an open mind. Think as you lie down to sleep at the end of the day that is the last moment of your life. Consider we only get to live one day at a time. This completed day will never happen the same again. It will be gone forever even if you go through the same routine. The sun might rise at a different moment. The weather could be different.

·         Then be surprised and excited you woke up at all the next day. Be thankful for one more day. It helps change perspective and drives a happier morning. A happier morning often leads to a happier day.

·         Understand you can always start the process over. This is the rebirthing process of self. You can, at any moment, decide to become the person you want to be. Just allow yourself to contemplate what decisions does that person make.  For example, I want to live a healthier life. I’m not perfect, and I understand I will make mistakes. However, if the healthier me knows that diet and exercise are important drivers in health. I should make food choices and set movement goals to ensure the decisions are easier to make. I should not actively fill my home with junk food and make time to do some exercise period.

·         Be okay with current failures. You can’t always win. It’s okay to lose. Losing affords us the chance to learn and humble ourselves instead of building an overbearing ego. Take the loss, consider small updates to what you learned, practice good habits around the matter, and try again. If you keep trying and only get 1% better, you can improve 37.78 times over one year if you tried every day. Think if I get 1% better, then I can find a victory in that.

Life is hard and complex and yet remarkably easy and simple. It’s just what you make of it. You don’t get more hours in the day than others. We are still bound to the laws of physics, nonetheless, we can constantly change ourselves each day. We can work to develop the best in ourselves. Show and learn from others on our own evolution. Take that and feel you can start over with new intentions, drive, and ambitions every single day for the rest of your life. So on that note, happy re-birthday to you.