Why you should read/listen/watch the summary of Everything’s Fucked: A Book About Hope

I love this book and think about it all the time. What’s funny is, the author has a solid YouTube Channel and does a free summary of this book too. Mark Manson stated he was a bit scared after “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” did so well, but he understood he wanted to develop a more in-depth view as how to apply his previous principles. He admits the book can be a bit backwards. When everything is fucked, we seek hope to change it. Once nothing is fucked, we have no need for hope. The cycle continues infinitely. We just change our idea of what suffering means.

 The opening story of Witold Pilecki is one of the most hopeful, hero-laced stories told. Witold actively sought to be captured by the Nazi’s. Then collaborated with the prisoners to build a secret radio to give information to Allied troops, and finally broke out of the prison (very few ever did), lastly helped to topple it. An amazing and awe-inspiring story. It speaks of his hopeful demeanor and drive.

The main thing I pulled from this is the car example. Mark refers to this as the conscience car theory/ classic conscience theory. It comes up a ton, and at first, I hated it. It felt cliché and wasteful, but I was off base. Normally, we assume that there is a logical adult behind the wheel. This part of you steers and operates the vehicle, while this emotional, impulsive, child-like part is disruptively attempting to distract the driver on its path.

Turns out, the roles of driver and passenger are reversed. The child is driving. The adult is left with a map and a prayer the car stays on the road. It made more sense as I thought of all the times, I went off-roading. I was so quick to veer off; I figured the emotional side just passionately grabbed the wheel. Nope. That side is in control and the job of the logical adult to speak and work with the emotional child- to convince the driver it’s doing the right thing. The logical part needs to understand that it can’t control any of it. It can’t control the speed or direction, but it can imply a path to give the driver what it wants.

We hope this logical passenger is still going to do the right thing, but that is not true. Today, there are so many levels to thought processes, gaslighting, sociopaths, and liars, we have done ourselves a disservice. Sometimes, the driver develops such an ego that it can force logic to change. We can allow ourselves to perceive facts and logic skewed. ON PURPOSE! We can rationally explain irrational thoughts and actions. When we fight so hard to believe a thing, it might be the only thing we are willing to accept.

It was then, I decided to try out coddling my emotional driver. I asked myself “why?” about as much a child would its guardian. I refused to judge the response and offered my understanding back. Suddenly, the wilding roads appear to straighten and become leveled. The driver calmed about stresses and started collaborating with the passenger. A Christie horror ride altered to a buddy road trip. I still feel things. I still know emotions, but now I understand the value. I feel the emotions more than ever. I feel more open. I think well of myself and accomplishments. Now, the driver still makes mistakes, but instead of getting upset and veering more, I can ask the importance of this behavior, understand the response, and support this moment better.

At this point, this review could just be on the Articles page. But there is a lot to unpack with this book. There are really good ideas (thought provoking ideas) about tribalism and religion in Chapter 4. He said ½ liked and ½ hated it. I loved it.